The Jokes Thread
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Pixel8r
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Re: The Jokes Thread
"Money is Gold, and nothing else"
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
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Pixel8r
- Site Admin
- Posts: 9418
- Registered for: 2 years 2 months
- Has thanked: 125 times
- Been thanked: 261 times
- Gender:
- Contact:
Re: The Jokes Thread
"Money is Gold, and nothing else"
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
Re: The Jokes Thread
"Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice and a profound tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there." - M. Scott Peck
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Pixel8r
- Site Admin
- Posts: 9418
- Registered for: 2 years 2 months
- Has thanked: 125 times
- Been thanked: 261 times
- Gender:
- Contact:
Re: The Jokes Thread
"Money is Gold, and nothing else"
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
(As John Pierpont Morgan once stated under oath before the USCongress and the Pujo Commission in 1912)
Re: The Jokes Thread
American returns home and goes to the doctor.
Patient: Doc, something is wrong with my old fella.
Doctor: Let me look at it.
The patient takes it out and flops it on the desk. The doctor draws back in disgust. "I've never seen this before. I will have to look up my medical book."
Upon searching he finds it. "Well it's called yellow purple spotted dick disease."
Patient: "So what's the go?"
Doctor: "Well it says here we have to cut it off before it becomes gangrenous and spreads to your whole body."
Patient: "I want a second opinion."
So the patient leaves and is walking down the street where he sees a sign which says, "Doctor Ho Lee Fuk." He enters.
The Chinese doctor ushers him in asks in a very Asian accent: "What can I do for you.?"
Patient: "Well doctor let me show you" and he proceeds to flop it onto the desk."
Doctor: "Oh yes, this called yellow purple spotted dick disease." You been to Asia and you been very naughty."
Patient: "I see you know your stuff doctor. My usual doctor told me I have to cut it off."
Doctor: "NO NO NO. Not necessaly to do this."
Patient: "Boy oh boy doctor am I glad I came to you."
Doctor with a big smile on his face: "Definitely no have to cut off. Will fall off by itself in 2 weeks."
Patient: Doc, something is wrong with my old fella.
Doctor: Let me look at it.
The patient takes it out and flops it on the desk. The doctor draws back in disgust. "I've never seen this before. I will have to look up my medical book."
Upon searching he finds it. "Well it's called yellow purple spotted dick disease."
Patient: "So what's the go?"
Doctor: "Well it says here we have to cut it off before it becomes gangrenous and spreads to your whole body."
Patient: "I want a second opinion."
So the patient leaves and is walking down the street where he sees a sign which says, "Doctor Ho Lee Fuk." He enters.
The Chinese doctor ushers him in asks in a very Asian accent: "What can I do for you.?"
Patient: "Well doctor let me show you" and he proceeds to flop it onto the desk."
Doctor: "Oh yes, this called yellow purple spotted dick disease." You been to Asia and you been very naughty."
Patient: "I see you know your stuff doctor. My usual doctor told me I have to cut it off."
Doctor: "NO NO NO. Not necessaly to do this."
Patient: "Boy oh boy doctor am I glad I came to you."
Doctor with a big smile on his face: "Definitely no have to cut off. Will fall off by itself in 2 weeks."
"Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice and a profound tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there." - M. Scott Peck
Re: The Jokes Thread
A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch.
A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them.
The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them.
The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
"Human beings are poor examiners, subject to superstition, bias, prejudice and a profound tendency to see what they want to see rather than what is really there." - M. Scott Peck
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